As a blogger this is exciting, my first letter asking for advice. I gave my two sense of the situation but I welcome your persecutive of the situation too. 

Dear Apparently You Didn’t Know,


I saw your repost of Wendy Williams going off on the girl dating a married man. It made me reflect on my current situation. Just to clarify I am not and repeat am not dating a married man. However the person I am seeing currently lives with his kids mom. They have one child together and live in the north east (which we know how expensive it is there). A bit of a background of me, I have been married before and I am currently in my 30s. This started as way for me to get over someone else. The guy was upfront and honest about it , which is more than I can say for most men I've dated. Now it has grown into much more. Several I love yous, please don't leave, and its only been four months. I feel wrong asking him to leave because I keep thinking where is he going to go if he leaves and I am so not ready to move in with anyone I'm seeing at the moment. However the chemistry we have js unlike anything I have ever experienced. I am not even referring to the sex. I talking about how we play, joke, smile, and laugh with each other. We were out of town and he was trying to convince me we should go get married right then and there. It reminds you of the love in the movie the notebook. Its intoxicating. I've never loved and have been loved like this before. I know the perfect guy doesn't come rapped in a bow, everything starts from somewhere. I believe that nothing worth having comes easy and sometimes you have to fight for what you want. But I am morally torn. 


any advise you can give would be great


respectfully confused drunk in love


Dear Confused Drunk In Love,

Honestly, you should have never accepted the 1st date but at this point it sounds like you are in too deep to even cut things off on your own free will.

You put great emphasis on the fact that you are not sleeping with a married man but lets be clear you are in LOVE with a man that is not necessarily yours, he lives with another women.  Is he telling you that he’s not sleeping with his baby mama? If so, do you believe him?  Cause I highly doubt that he’s living under the same roof but not sleeping with her. He’s absolutely lying about the circumstances surrounding why they live together. As a single women, I find myself running into Mr. I live with my baby mama but we not together too. Men are changing tactics no more lying telling you they single that requires a lot of work. They tell you half-truths. Telling you that he lives with his baby mama makes it so that you wont be asking to spend the night or allow you to nag him with other relationship type questions that every man dreads.

The reason that you are even questioning this relationships is because you are not comfortable with being the other woman and the shame that comes along with being a man that is not yours. You deserve better and you know it.

If you are willing to deal with the drama that is sure to come along with sleeping with a man that hasn’t ended his relationship with his almost ex then I’m going to tell you like I tell my girlfriends if you like it, I love it. 









What Every Graduate Has To Look Forward To

Congratulations graduates! We are all so very proud of you.

Best wishes for your career ahead!

In an ideal world your transition from college student to working professional world be seamless. If for some reason that is not the case, you may start doubting your choices “Maybe I chose the wrong major”, or “ why did I wait so long to start looking for a job”.

You’ve heard it before: the economy sucks!! Finding a job where you are actually putting your degree to use is going to me hard (damn near impossible). Hell finding a job waiting on tables is going to be hard too (much harder than you would have ever imagined). On top of dealing with finding a job and the upcoming student loan payments the are looming, I also want to prepare you for the family scrutiny.

Be prepared to be bombarded with:  

What kind of job does a degree in (insert current degree) get you?

How are your students loans- this is just my opinion but I believe anyone who asks you this question should make a payment toward said loan

Don’t you wish you had majored in (insert degree that you don’t have)?

What are your future plans –Polite but still being nosy. You know very well my future plan is to find a JOB

Then of course you're gonna run into a few people with a memory lapse so 3 days later they're still going to ask you: Did you find a job yet?

You may one day eventually avoid family functions so you don’t run into these folks and have to endure their questions.  I’m praying it doesn’t come to this for you but if it does, its happened to the best of us.

Also keep in mind these are the same people who helped you celebrate by attending your graduation and gave you those envelopes filled with money .Be gentle! Try not to say the first thing that comes to mind although I would not hold it against you.