Am I Wrong When I Say I don't Want to be a Baby Mama?

Do your girlfriends get offended when you say that you don’t want to be a baby mama???

I often get asked when I'm going to have children and my answer is always the same. 

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked me when I am going to have some babies and without thinking twice I gave my usual response "When a find a good man, I don't want to be a baby mama."

Once I said it her whole demeanor changed. That's when it dawned on me. She's a baby mama. She's not the confrontational type so we didn’t get into the particulars nor did I try. Honestly, I didn’t know how to explain myself without things going left.

I didn’t mean to offend her nor did I think my comment had anything to do with her and her situation. It had everything to do with what I want and see for my life. 

Love, Marriage & Baby Carriage---everything in due time.

If for some reason things don’t work out that way or in that order then fine but I’m not going to go out of my way to interrupt this fairy tale. 

I’m 30 and single with no prospect in sight so it does seem like a fairy tale but not one that I’m willing to give up on anytime soon.

I don't think anyone knowly signs up to be a baby mama (an unwed mother) Its something that happens and  you deal with it as best you can.  Am I wrong when I say I don't want to be a Baby Mama?

Dear Friends & Family

image.jpg

Why don't you believe me when I say I'm happily single?

Yes I'm 31 with no kids or a husband in sight but I'm happy. Really, I am. 

Why is that so hard believe? I've made peace with it. I didn't dream it this way but this is the situation and I'm not going to let it consume me nor am I going to compare myself to other people. 

I know you love me and you want the best for me. I need you to make peace with the situation too. The 1st step is to refrain from asking/telling me the following:


1. When are you getting married?
2. You're too picky. That's why you're single
3. Don't you want children? When are you going to have some babies?
4. At your age you should be married. So and so just just got married
5. All men are dogs. Just pick one and have a baby

In the meantime I'm working on me and making good use of my time as a single woman. Comparing myself to other people and their accomplishment will kill my spirt and block my blessings

Mr. Good Enough

I’ve met Mr. Good Enough and I don’t want him.

I’ve said this at 25, 27 and 29. Now that I'm 30 I have moments where I have doubts (who doesn’t?)

I’ve started going over the names under good enough list and putting the 80/20 rule into the equation, wondering if like me some life experiences have molded him into my ideal man.  I’ve gone over the list and I even thought about reaching out to one of them but I stop myself every time.

Looking back at the time what I said made sense then and it still makes sense today. I want and deserve that whole package. A man who I’m madly in love with who is in love with me. Someone who shares my morals/values and is willing to meet me half way even when we disagree.

And preferably someone who’s comfortable within their skin, ambitious and without child. (I’m thinking the without child will have to be omitted from my list soon because its getting harder and harder to met a man 30 and older without child these days but that’s another story for another time.)