Apparently You Didn't Know (Family Edition)

Every family has its own level of dysfunction some more than others. All of this family dysfunction has lead me here: Apparently You Didn’t Know Family Edition (#ApparentlyYouDidntKnow)

 


Apparently You Didn’t Know that it's 1 Queen per household – Grown people cant live with grown people

Apparently You Didn’t know that just because we're family and I love you, that doesn't mean that I like you- P.S You make it very hard to LOVE you 

Apparently you didn’t know that Moms feel like anything that came out of them, is their business (no matter how old)- my mom included

Apparently You didn’t Know that even vampires have manners- stop calling me at any hour of the night

Apparently You Didn’t know that once you took him back, after telling me what happened, I wont be as friendly next time I see him – You're over it but I’m not (third party offense is real)

Apparently You Don’t know that I know when you inquire about how I’m doing you're just being nosy –hence why you get the one word answers –FINE

Using the hashtag  #ApparentlyYouDidntKnow, share some family dysfunction that you’ve witnessed

A Freaks Oath

 Men are trifling, cheating,  lying dog complex reaches an all time high whenever I hang out with my male friends. By friendship standard these guys are good guys. They show up, and they love and support me when needed but they also give a bad representation of men & relationships.

This friend in particular is newly single and because we're going to be referencing, his trifling ways here on the blog often I feel it's only right that we give him a name  .

So Ladies & Gentleman, meet Bronx. Bronx is in his early 40’s. He’s smart, good looking and successful.  As a newly single man he’s enjoying his new found singleness by enjoying, I mean, hell you guys know what I mean. So me being the great friend that I am, I'm get tortured with all the sordid details of his sexcapades🙈🙉🙊

 

Kissing is a part of sex right?? Well I consider kissing to be part of sex I don’t know how he does it but Bronx is able to engage in sexual relations with women without kissing them. I know that people show affection in different ways but kissing without sex? Who does that?? Let Bronx tell it, he says sex without kissing is quite common. He says "It’s an understanding among freaks. We don’t trust each other so therefore we don’t kiss each other".

Anybody else took this oath or know of this understanding?  Are you having sex without kissing too?

7 Rules of Dating From a Serial Dater

I’m no dating expert (I don’t even know what qualifies someone as a dating expert) but I decided to put together a list of dating tips. Keep in mind these rules are according to the rules that I’ve made up my mind

 

  1. If I’m not married I’m single
  2. Us going on 1 or a few dates doesn’t equate to were dating/in a relationship. Until we are exclusive, I can date multiple men at the same time
  3. Social Media- No I’m not on Instagram or Twitter. I’m not sharing my social media platforms this is were I vent and share my random thoughts. You having my Instagram is like you having a playbook on all things Lovely  
  4. Traditional rules of dating still apply –ask me out, have a plan, open doors & pull out chairs
  5. No chain food restaurants – really it's just a matter of preference I don’t like chain food restaurants and prefer to dine where linens and silverware on the table . This has nothing to do with $200 dates 
  6.  Lets ease into texting. All out conversations cannot done by text. I need to hear your voice and to know that you can hold a conversation
  7. We will be putting our conversation skills to work- a little small talk,  you ask a question, you allow me to answer, I ask a question and so on.  And PLEASE Keep up with trends and current events so we will have things to talk about. That means READ! For me there’s nothing sexy than a man that reads and can hold a conversation. 

Truth Moment- It’s been a while since I’ve met anybody new. I get in these bouts where I’m out being social in hopes of meeting somebody and then I get turned off by the whole dating/meeting somebody thing. By society's standard something must be wrong with me to be 31, single (never married) no children but me I like to think I have a couple more years before I start hyperventilating ……maybe or maybe not

Come to think of it I know a lot of former 31 yr old who are in their 40’s now still single (never married) no children who regret that they didn’t make a bigger effort in meeting someone or being more sociable. Lots of regrets and a whole lot of shoulda, woulda, coulda. I’m vowing to make a bigger effort on my part. I’m getting back in the dating game I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

P.S. I’m just going to put it out there, I’m open to blind dates


ANOTHER I LIVE WITH MY BABY MAMA BUT WE NOT TOGETHER BROTHER

As a blogger this is exciting, my first letter asking for advice. I gave my two sense of the situation but I welcome your persecutive of the situation too. 

Dear Apparently You Didn’t Know,

 

I saw your repost of Wendy Williams going off on the girl dating a married man. It made me reflect on my current situation. Just to clarify I am not and repeat am not dating a married man. However the person I am seeing currently lives with his kids mom. They have one child together and live in the north east (which we know how expensive it is there). A bit of a background of me, I have been married before and I am currently in my 30s. This started as way for me to get over someone else. The guy was upfront and honest about it , which is more than I can say for most men I've dated. Now it has grown into much more. Several I love yous, please don't leave, and its only been four months. I feel wrong asking him to leave because I keep thinking where is he going to go if he leaves and I am so not ready to move in with anyone I'm seeing at the moment. However the chemistry we have js unlike anything I have ever experienced. I am not even referring to the sex. I talking about how we play, joke, smile, and laugh with each other. We were out of town and he was trying to convince me we should go get married right then and there. It reminds you of the love in the movie the notebook. Its intoxicating. I've never loved and have been loved like this before. I know the perfect guy doesn't come rapped in a bow, everything starts from somewhere. I believe that nothing worth having comes easy and sometimes you have to fight for what you want. But I am morally torn. 

 

any advise you can give would be great

 

respectfully confused drunk in love

 

Dear Confused Drunk In Love,

Honestly, you should have never accepted the 1st date but at this point it sounds like you are in too deep to even cut things off on your own free will.

You put great emphasis on the fact that you are not sleeping with a married man but lets be clear you are in LOVE with a man that is not necessarily yours, he lives with another women.  Is he telling you that he’s not sleeping with his baby mama? If so, do you believe him?  Cause I highly doubt that he’s living under the same roof but not sleeping with her. He’s absolutely lying about the circumstances surrounding why they live together. As a single women, I find myself running into Mr. I live with my baby mama but we not together too. Men are changing tactics no more lying telling you they single that requires a lot of work. They tell you half-truths. Telling you that he lives with his baby mama makes it so that you wont be asking to spend the night or allow you to nag him with other relationship type questions that every man dreads.

The reason that you are even questioning this relationships is because you are not comfortable with being the other woman and the shame that comes along with being a man that is not yours. You deserve better and you know it.

If you are willing to deal with the drama that is sure to come along with sleeping with a man that hasn’t ended his relationship with his almost ex then I’m going to tell you like I tell my girlfriends if you like it, I love it. 


 

Truthfully,

 

Lovely

 

 

 

 

How To Be A Grown Up

I have a job, does not mean that I have money. I'm not trying to be stingy with my money - if that was the case then that would mean I would actually have money. Currently, I'm mathematically in the negative. Since, personal finance isn't golf, it means there is no way that I am winning.

Remember, that one time we went out, and I calmly swiped my card. (I had no money! I was using a credit card! ) I say this to you my friend, who noticed that I am in a steady job with steady income and think it means I can party like it's 1999 ( I really just like that song, (by Prince)).

I am actually trying to budget myself out of the negative hole I calmly dug myself into. And, sure enough budgeting when you have some money is even harder than budgeting with no money.

If I choose not to eat out, it means I'm anti-social so once in a while I have to decide to let loose and eat out with my coworkers and bond over a nice American or Japanese meal or attend a concert or something to catch up with my friends who are in different life lanes.

So, I'm not partying every night - not because I don't want to let loose, it's simply because I let loose a while back when I didn't have to wake up the next morning to actually make that paycheck to pay for last night's "bottoms up".

Really, I'm not stingy or a money hoarder or anything like that. Really I'm just preparing for financial freedom - or at least let me get high up out of the hole where a little sunlight is able to seep through.

I don't like to be shackled; I do not want Credit Cards, Student Loans, Friends or a husband/boyfriend to tie me down and make me feel bound to them. So, if I can owe no man, woman or entity. I will be happy. I love sharing - just without the strings.