Hi Again!

 

It has been a while, more than two years maybe. You have to forgive me. Life was happing, and I just did not have the energy to do it all. Since we last spoke many changes on my end.  Some highlight since I was last here:

I moved to New York City fall of 2015 cues the Jay Z & Alice Keys New York song.  I miss Miami! I live in a tiny apartment without a closet; my mode of transportation is the train.  Now when the forecast says 50 degrees I say “not that bad” this coming from a woman who wore boots when it would hit 60's in Miami.  It’s a Miami thing we look forward to 2 or 3 days when it would reach up to the  60’s so we can dress in a fall wardrobe. Uber & Uber Eats takes all my money during the winter months. I’m spending less money on my trips to Target because who is going to carry all that shit on the train?

Fell in Love- It must be love because he has a child if you remember I was one of those people who said “I don’t date men with children” Well here we are! Now I’m trying to decide how much of the ins and outs of the relationship I will share online now that I’m back to blogging.

Online Dating – The dating pool is just as inferior in NYC as it is in Miami. I have tried online dating for the 1st time. So many honor stories that I will be sharing but the big plus is that I met “babe” on Tinder.

Lots of immeasurable, critical moments in this new NYC lifestyle, but most importantly I’m withstanding the cold winds and city nights. I’m now  a believer in the phrase, "If you can make it in, New York you can make it anywhere." NEW YORK is not a joke!!!!

Apparently You Didn't Know (Family Edition)

Every family has its own level of dysfunction some more than others. All of this family dysfunction has lead me here: Apparently You Didn’t Know Family Edition (#ApparentlyYouDidntKnow)

 


Apparently You Didn’t Know that it's 1 Queen per household – Grown people cant live with grown people

Apparently You Didn’t know that just because we're family and I love you, that doesn't mean that I like you- P.S You make it very hard to LOVE you 

Apparently you didn’t know that Moms feel like anything that came out of them, is their business (no matter how old)- my mom included

Apparently You didn’t Know that even vampires have manners- stop calling me at any hour of the night

Apparently You Didn’t know that once you took him back, after telling me what happened, I wont be as friendly next time I see him – You're over it but I’m not (third party offense is real)

Apparently You Don’t know that I know when you inquire about how I’m doing you're just being nosy –hence why you get the one word answers –FINE

Using the hashtag  #ApparentlyYouDidntKnow, share some family dysfunction that you’ve witnessed

A Freaks Oath

 Men are trifling, cheating,  lying dog complex reaches an all time high whenever I hang out with my male friends. By friendship standard these guys are good guys. They show up, and they love and support me when needed but they also give a bad representation of men & relationships.

This friend in particular is newly single and because we're going to be referencing, his trifling ways here on the blog often I feel it's only right that we give him a name  .

So Ladies & Gentleman, meet Bronx. Bronx is in his early 40’s. He’s smart, good looking and successful.  As a newly single man he’s enjoying his new found singleness by enjoying, I mean, hell you guys know what I mean. So me being the great friend that I am, I'm get tortured with all the sordid details of his sexcapades🙈🙉🙊

 

Kissing is a part of sex right?? Well I consider kissing to be part of sex I don’t know how he does it but Bronx is able to engage in sexual relations with women without kissing them. I know that people show affection in different ways but kissing without sex? Who does that?? Let Bronx tell it, he says sex without kissing is quite common. He says "It’s an understanding among freaks. We don’t trust each other so therefore we don’t kiss each other".

Anybody else took this oath or know of this understanding?  Are you having sex without kissing too?

7 Rules of Dating From a Serial Dater

I’m no dating expert (I don’t even know what qualifies someone as a dating expert) but I decided to put together a list of dating tips. Keep in mind these rules are according to the rules that I’ve made up my mind

 

  1. If I’m not married I’m single
  2. Us going on 1 or a few dates doesn’t equate to were dating/in a relationship. Until we are exclusive, I can date multiple men at the same time
  3. Social Media- No I’m not on Instagram or Twitter. I’m not sharing my social media platforms this is were I vent and share my random thoughts. You having my Instagram is like you having a playbook on all things Lovely  
  4. Traditional rules of dating still apply –ask me out, have a plan, open doors & pull out chairs
  5. No chain food restaurants – really it's just a matter of preference I don’t like chain food restaurants and prefer to dine where linens and silverware on the table . This has nothing to do with $200 dates 
  6.  Lets ease into texting. All out conversations cannot done by text. I need to hear your voice and to know that you can hold a conversation
  7. We will be putting our conversation skills to work- a little small talk,  you ask a question, you allow me to answer, I ask a question and so on.  And PLEASE Keep up with trends and current events so we will have things to talk about. That means READ! For me there’s nothing sexy than a man that reads and can hold a conversation. 

Truth Moment- It’s been a while since I’ve met anybody new. I get in these bouts where I’m out being social in hopes of meeting somebody and then I get turned off by the whole dating/meeting somebody thing. By society's standard something must be wrong with me to be 31, single (never married) no children but me I like to think I have a couple more years before I start hyperventilating ……maybe or maybe not

Come to think of it I know a lot of former 31 yr old who are in their 40’s now still single (never married) no children who regret that they didn’t make a bigger effort in meeting someone or being more sociable. Lots of regrets and a whole lot of shoulda, woulda, coulda. I’m vowing to make a bigger effort on my part. I’m getting back in the dating game I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

P.S. I’m just going to put it out there, I’m open to blind dates


ANOTHER I LIVE WITH MY BABY MAMA BUT WE NOT TOGETHER BROTHER

As a blogger this is exciting, my first letter asking for advice. I gave my two sense of the situation but I welcome your persecutive of the situation too. 

Dear Apparently You Didn’t Know,

 

I saw your repost of Wendy Williams going off on the girl dating a married man. It made me reflect on my current situation. Just to clarify I am not and repeat am not dating a married man. However the person I am seeing currently lives with his kids mom. They have one child together and live in the north east (which we know how expensive it is there). A bit of a background of me, I have been married before and I am currently in my 30s. This started as way for me to get over someone else. The guy was upfront and honest about it , which is more than I can say for most men I've dated. Now it has grown into much more. Several I love yous, please don't leave, and its only been four months. I feel wrong asking him to leave because I keep thinking where is he going to go if he leaves and I am so not ready to move in with anyone I'm seeing at the moment. However the chemistry we have js unlike anything I have ever experienced. I am not even referring to the sex. I talking about how we play, joke, smile, and laugh with each other. We were out of town and he was trying to convince me we should go get married right then and there. It reminds you of the love in the movie the notebook. Its intoxicating. I've never loved and have been loved like this before. I know the perfect guy doesn't come rapped in a bow, everything starts from somewhere. I believe that nothing worth having comes easy and sometimes you have to fight for what you want. But I am morally torn. 

 

any advise you can give would be great

 

respectfully confused drunk in love

 

Dear Confused Drunk In Love,

Honestly, you should have never accepted the 1st date but at this point it sounds like you are in too deep to even cut things off on your own free will.

You put great emphasis on the fact that you are not sleeping with a married man but lets be clear you are in LOVE with a man that is not necessarily yours, he lives with another women.  Is he telling you that he’s not sleeping with his baby mama? If so, do you believe him?  Cause I highly doubt that he’s living under the same roof but not sleeping with her. He’s absolutely lying about the circumstances surrounding why they live together. As a single women, I find myself running into Mr. I live with my baby mama but we not together too. Men are changing tactics no more lying telling you they single that requires a lot of work. They tell you half-truths. Telling you that he lives with his baby mama makes it so that you wont be asking to spend the night or allow you to nag him with other relationship type questions that every man dreads.

The reason that you are even questioning this relationships is because you are not comfortable with being the other woman and the shame that comes along with being a man that is not yours. You deserve better and you know it.

If you are willing to deal with the drama that is sure to come along with sleeping with a man that hasn’t ended his relationship with his almost ex then I’m going to tell you like I tell my girlfriends if you like it, I love it. 


 

Truthfully,

 

Lovely